emotion for you

It can not be denied that the emotions you feel, go through you and not necessarily through the other. Somehow this emotion is there only for you. Not for the other. The emotion that you feel is the one flowing through you and for you. We can see purpose in that. What if emotion that you feel, judged good or bad, is always serving you? Can you change your relation towards your own emotions to something more serving and beautiful?

In case of conflict for example, you are verbally offended by a person, undesired or so called negative or bad, emotions rise up. It is common for us to feel the emotion and react mindlessly because of that towards the object of our experience. It's the pointing finger. The finger that points towards an object outside of us, making it the responsible of our emotion. We concluded that this object is the reason of this undesired emotion. And it is. Because every time this object is experienced we feel the same emotion. When this object, this person, would not be experienced, this emotion would most likely not arise. So it is easy to conclude that the object is the reason of our emotional response.

But it is also true that the same object experienced by another person can generate different emotion. One might feel offended by an object of his experience whilst another person might laugh about it. Two people can have a different emotional response whilst experiencing a similar situation, a similar object. Objects of experience have the capacity to trigger emotion inside us. We could say that the quality of this triggered emotion is depended on how we look at that object. Or how we attach believes on to that object.

Emotion comes into play when object and perception meet. To make it more clear, the emotional response reflects the quality of a relationship. The relationship between your viewing and the object of your experience. The quality of this relationship, the color so to speak, comes forth out the quality of your viewing and the quality of the object of your experience.

It takes two to generate a quality of emotion, the quality of your viewing and the quality of the object of your experience.

You can spend a lifetime tinkering with the objects of your experience. Trying to change them in order to have a desired emotional response. Or you can change your perception, your believes of that object, not changing any object of your experience.

In the past I was confused about this. I thought that my emotional response is a statement on how bad or good the object of my experience was. That the worse I feel about an object, indeed how bad this object really is. I did not see that the emotion is a reflection of a relationship. The relationship between my viewing and the object of my experience. So what I did was pasting the quality of my emotion not on to this relationship but straight onto the object of my experience. The only way for me to feel better is then to flee from the object, or to attack it or somehow manipulated it in a way it makes me feel better, (or less bad in many cases).